Radical Change?

 Today I'm writing my post for the final chapter of Radical.  Wow...I can't believe we're done already.

 So I'm going to start by being very very honest.  When I read this chapter, I don't feel very radical.  In fact, I really don't want to be very radical. Some of the changes suggested just don't seem practical for me.  However, I have made some of the changes suggested.   I've started reading my Bible with intention of reading it all in one year.  Rather than follow a plan, I've decided to read my Bible during bathroom breaks.  So far I've made it to Numbers.  Although I've done this several times before, it's been awhile since I've read through the Old Testament.  There's a lot to ponder there.

 Praying for the world intrigues me.  After finishing up Radical, I signed up to get the Unreached Peoples emails.  Each day, I receive an email introducing me to a different unreached people group and suggesting ways to pray for them.  Today while reading Radical, I was reminded to pray that God would raise up workers to share the Gospel with the people groups that I'm praying for.  I'm also praying for my community around me.  As I see different people groups, I try to pray both that the individual will come to know Christ and that the people group will as well.  Today I started praying for the Russian-Israeli population in Canada as members of that group are increasingly coming to comprise my social circle.

 Sacrificing my money for a specific purpose is something that I want to do, but not yet.  See, my best friend who lives far away just had a baby.  So I'm saving my very limited personal spending money up for a plane ticket to visit her.  My husband and I do give, but we have very little extra income.  This is where I run into trouble with the Radical experiment, because although I do want to sacrifice for a specific purpose, I also really want to go visit my dear friend and her sweet baby.  Is it wrong to wait to begin this step?

 Up next is another troublesome challenge.  Platt encourages us to spend our time in another context.  As I mentioned previously, I would love to go overseas.  But so far God has closed those doors.   For this step, I guess I will have to rest knowing that if God allows me to serve in another context, I will gladly go.  Is that enough?

 I'm finding this really frustrating because I would love to say wholeheartedly that I'm in.  But for a variety of reasons, I can't.  Or won't.  I'm not entirely sure if I'm just being too selfish or if I have good reasons for not fully committing to the experiment.  In the fifth and final step, we are challenged to become a member of a multiplying faith community.  Last year, this wouldn't have been a problem.  After a very challenging year, my husband and I made the difficult decision to leave our church.  It had ceased to be a safe and healthy place for our family.  We had been hoping to return, but at this point I'm giving up on that hope.  With that in mind, becoming a member of a multiplying faith community seems almost impossible.  We are attending a new church, but unlike the previous church, it isn't in our neighbourhood which is important to us. Many of those we wish to reach don't have vehicles and public transportation doesn't run often on Sunday mornings.  Our goal is to attend a church that those we minister to can easily attend. With this goal in mind, we most likely won't be staying longterm at the church we are currently attending, even though we really like it.  We are still involved in a small group at our previous church though.

 This is hard.  It's hard to write this post.  I want to be Radical, I really really do. I want to live differently, to be sold-out for Christ, to impact my community and my world for Christ.  But I often wonder if this is possible, if God can possibly use me to make an impact.  I may not be able to do all of the components of the Radical experiment right now, but I'm going to make accomplishing all of them my goal, even if they don't happen concurrently.  It will be interesting to see what this experiment accomplishes.  I'm frustrated that I can't do all of these things right now, but reading Radical has definitely started a change in me.