Desert Wanderings

 I've been wandering in the desert these past two years.  It's hostile here; even the temperature changes are extreme.  There is life here, but it's hard to find and either prickly or poisonous.  But somehow, in this hostile, intemperate land, I have fashioned an existence for myself.  It's meager living at best, but it's something.

 I've gotten comfortable here. I know the rocks, the wind, the sand. Each holds a story-most of them about betrayal and loneliness.  There are many stories here.  I am never alone, never lost because I remember the pain.  Alone in the desert, I won't forget. I won't get fooled into getting hurt again.  Somehow it's safer in this wild place.

 But now it's time to leave.  I know that deep down, my time here is done.  There are new places to explore, fertile countries with a more moderate climate, abundant vegetation, open water and no scorpions.  It sounds like heaven. My heart should be rejoicing, I should be packing my bags and heading out...but I'm not.

 I'm scared.  I know this place.  It isn't much, but it's home. It hurts here, yes.  But it's old hurt. I can't be fooled here. Out there, in the lush place of abundance, there will be many opportunities to be wounded. I may get tricked again.  Where will I be then?  I can't see myself heading back into the desert, having to relearn living here all over again. Could I survive having to return?

 The questions swirl around in my head. I ignore them, pack my bags, and head out into a scary new adventure.