What is faith? I could quote some verses at you about what faith is and how powerful it is. Faith is the substance of things hoped for; the evidence of things unseen. A little tiny bit of faith moves mountains. Faith is what brings us into right relationship with God. Faith is believing in what we cannot see.
And yet for many of us, faith is a fence. It's a word that delineates all we believe in. It outlines what we can and cannot do, what we can and cannot think. It isolates us from a large portion of society while simultaneously making us family with people from every tribe and tongue. Faith shapes us, moulds us, defines us.
But what if faith is more than this?
For years I followed set paths. I grew up walking the path of Legalism. Being a Christian had some very clear expectations. If I didn't meet those standards, then I wasn't a Christian, or at least not a very good one. I tried very hard, reading through my Bible multiple times, spending large amounts of time in prayer. Yet Legalism didn't advance my faith, it just tore holes in it.
Then I discovered grace. I left Legalism behind without even a word of farewell. I started walking a new path, one of Intelligent Belief. I scorned my former behaviour and set about creating a new way to live. Being relevant and relational were key words on this path. As part of my church, I set goals to grow in my faith, to bring others to Christ. I walked confidently on this path and then watched everything I wanted and work for crumble.
I'll be honest. Walking away from my faith looked really good. Walking away from life had its appeal as well. How could God let me down? Didn't I have faith in Him? Didn't I trust Him? Wasn't I doing what He asked of me? For two years I wrestled with these thoughts.
I felt like I was walking through a jungle. The overgrowth was wild and ferocious, the critters even more so. Yes, the jungle is beautiful but it's also terrifying. Thankfully I had a map. As long as I stuck to the clearly delineated paths I would be okay. But the further I got into the jungle, the less sense my map made. I was confused and frustrated. This map was THE map for safe passage through. What was wrong with me that I couldn't understand it?
And just as I became overwhelmed with despair, a beautiful golden butterfly fluttered by. Bathed in a golden light, it waggled its wings at me. That's when I knew. I had to follow it. Dropping my map, I charged off into the jungle. My companions hollered after me, warning me of the dangers, beseeching me to come back. But I couldn't shake this compulsion, didn't want to shake it. Soon their voices faded into the background jungle noise.
The journey wasn't easy. Following the butterfly didn't guarantee a safe passage. I bore wounds from a thorn bush I fell into, scratches from an encounter with a jungle cat. But still I ran. And when I saw the clearing up ahead, I kept going. Even when I realised that the ambient sounds of the jungle were being drowned out by a new sound, I kept going. When my foot hit the edge of the cliff, I didn't hesitate or try to scramble backwards. Instead I lept into the abyss, knowing that wherever I was going, it would be good.
And this is what faith is. It isn't easy or predictable. It's a mad dash at times, a leap of faith. It's a chasing of the Wild Goose, a plunging into the unknown. This wild unknowing following isn't easy, it certainly isn't popular. And I really don't recommend it without wise people who can help you discern God's voice. But even as my life heads into territory where all I can do is trust God, I feel the safest and most secure that I have ever felt. For although hard, unexpected, unpleasant things have happened, I know that God has never let go of me. Instead He has led to me greener pastures, to stiller waters and He is restoring my soul.
So then what is faith?
Faith is unexpected. It's a journey, an adventure, a running away. It's personal, unique and if you let it, faith will change your life forever. In short, faith is a gift. Will you take it?
Great writing! Great to see you back at it too!
ReplyDeleteThis was so encouraging, Grace. So true and lovely...
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